


The Summer We Burnt In the Cold

by Lur27



Category: Castle
Genre: F/M, Gen, Post Season/Series 05 Finale
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-14
Updated: 2013-06-09
Packaged: 2017-12-11 21:15:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/803338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lur27/pseuds/Lur27
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new life. The 'something more' she had been craving lately. Will it be what they need to make their relationship work? *Post-ep for Whatershed*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

She took it. She still can't believe she did, but she took the job. That was two weeks ago, and today is her last day working at the 12th. How strange is that?

She's spent almost half of her life in this building, and now, out of nowhere, someone offers her a position in DC and she accepts, as if all those years didn't matter at all. As if everything she's gone through between these walls means nothing to her. But it does. She's so thankful for all she has learnt here. For the great family she's built. It's not like she's going to forget all that the moment she walks out the door. It's not.

Saying goodbye is painful. Fellow detectives and uniforms approach her all day long, saying their farewells and wishing her good luck. Some of them give her presents and goodbye cards, others just a handshake or even a hug. She's overwhelmed.

Gates calls her to her office a little after lunchtime. Her face is somber and tired, but there's a smile adorning her lips.

"Detective Beckett. Please sit down." The woman commands. "I know you are busy right now packing all your things and getting ready to leave, but I wanted to say goodbye personally."

Kate smiles and nods softly. "Thank you, sir."

The captain opens a drawer, takes out a white envelope and shows it to the detective. "Now, this might sound silly, since I know you got the job already, but I wanted to give you a recommendation letter." The woman pauses and looks Kate in the eyes. "I can't say it's always been easy, detective. Or that we've managed to develop the kind of bond you had with my predecessor, but what I can say, is that it has been a pleasure working with you, even when you ignored my orders to run after that writer of yours, pursuing one of his crazy ideas. "

Kate laughs, lowering her gaze and biting her lip in something close to embarrassment. "I am sorry about that, sir. But I have to agree." She states, raising her eyes back to meet the captain's. "It's been a pleasure."

Gates smiles back at her and places the envelop on the desk, right in front of Kate. "Take it. You can use it or keep it. Whatever you do with it will be fine. I just wanted to write it."

Beckett takes the letter and stands up, thanking Gates once again. "I really appreciate it, sir. Thank you so much."

Kate is about to leave the office when she hears her name again. "Kate!" She turns around and finds Gates right beside her, her arm extended waiting for her. "Good luck."

They shake hands and Kate can't fight the tears from pooling in her eyes. They were never really close, but Gates has proven that they could always count on her, even when they broke the rules.

"Tell Mr. Castle I would have loved to say goodbye to him too. It's going to be an interesting thing to see how this precinct goes back to normal, not having him around playing pranks and spinning crazy theories. I am sure we will all miss his antics."

"Yeah…" Kate laughed, taking a look around the bullpen. She was going to miss this place so much. "But you can tell him yourself, sir. He'll be picking me up in an hour."

Gates eyes open in surprise as she starts retreating back to her desk. "Hm, giving it more thought, he doesn't need to know that…" She says, giving Kate a mischievous smile. "We don't want to feed that ego of his, do we?"

The detective chuckles and shakes her head amused. "Of course not, sir."

Her blue mug is the first thing she puts inside the brown cardboard box. It's not exactly one of the things that kept her company over all the long years working here , but it certainly is one of the most cherished.

Her elephants are important too. They were the witnesses of all her struggles, her desperation, her joy when she broke a case. The days when she missed Castle so much that just staring at his chair made her heart bleed with longing and want; and also, the days when they had to keep every look, every brush of their fingers, every dreamy breath a secret, so no one would find out they were together.

Old papers, folders and stationary come next. Some stuff ends up in the trash can, some she leaves on the table for the boys to keep since it's case related, and some, like the little yellow squares stacked inside a blue folder, she keeps close to her heart for a moment before she puts them in the box. They're Castle's silly love notes. There is a great variety in there. Some are funny, some are tender, some are sweet and loving, and some… Well, she still doesn't know how she kept those in her desk instead of in a safe under a top security pass code. Her writer has a very, very dirty mind. Not that she's complaining.

A hand leans on her shoulder when she picks up a long paperclip chain from her drawer and she turns to meet the blue eyes she knows are waiting for her.

"I can't believe you still have that in there." Castle jokes, as he circles her waist with his arms and kisses her cheek.

Kate tries to get free from his embrace, but he holds her tighter. "Castle, we're at the precinct!" She hisses. "Gates will see."

The writer laughs and nuzzles her ear, pressing a kiss to her neck. "Do I have to remind you that you no longer work here? She can't fire you, Kate. In fact," he whispers in a conspiratorial tone, "we should make out right here, right now to prove we're not afraid of her anymore."

Beckett turns in his arms and snakes hers around his neck. "When you say we, you mean you, right? 'Cause I've never been afraid of Gates."

"Sure, Kate, keep telling yourself that." Castle shoots back, a smug grin on his face.

The detective narrows her eyes in mocking offense. "I was not!"

"Uh huh. That's why you were so scared of her finding out about us."

"She could have fired me, you jackass!" She laughs, patting away one of his hands, which had gone way too far down her back. "Just try to behave yourself for one last time, will you?"

He gives her a grimace and lets go of her reluctantly. "You are no fun."

"Hm." She leans into him again, the warmth of her breathing bathing the soft skin of his neck. "That's not what you said last night." She whispers.

Leaving him trying to get his bearings back, she turns her attention back to her desk, to empty it of all the trinkets and memories she's managed to pile in there over the years.

She finds like a dozen pens she thought she had lost, a torn pantyhose she put in a drawer one day while on a rush and forgot about, a bunch of fallen buttons from both hers and Castle's coats and shirts, a couple of bags of M&Ms and some other junk.

Every single thing brings a smile to her face, because even the smallest, white shirt-button in that drawer has a memory tied to it.

"You're forgetting this." She hears Castle's voice, before he passes her the ragged form of her stick-man.

"I could never forget this guy." She mumbles distractedly as she places it carefully on the box. "I left him for last on purpose, but thank you."

Then she takes a look around her, drinking in every single detail she can of the place that has been her second home for such a long time.

The way the sun reflects on the metallic grating that separates the different areas of the bullpen. The big murder boards that stand still close to her desk, the break room where she and Castle have enjoyed so many carry out meals with the boys…

This is so much harder than she thought it would be.

Castle sneaks his arms around her waist again, and leans his head on her left shoulder, nuzzling her jaw. "Are you ok?"

Kate lets herself fall against him, resting her weight against his chest. She takes a deep, shaky breath and nods slowly, trapping her lower lip between her teeth.

"I'm fine. Just… I can't believe it's over." She sighs.

"This is not the end of the book, Kate. You're just starting a new chapter." He says, tightening his grip on her. "Believe me, I'm a writer, I know a lot about that."

She chuckles and covers his hands with hers, wondering how in the world can she be so lucky to have him in her life.

"We should get going." Castle mumbles, letting go of her and picking up the big box from the desk. "We have a dinner to prepare, and you know how whiny Esposito gets when you make him wait for his food."

They walk to the elevator slowly, shoulders brushing with every step. When the doors open and they get inside, Kate lets out a heavy sigh and lets herself fall against the wall.

"This is it."

Castle winces and looks down at her with both understanding and sympathy. "We will come back. We have to visit the family."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

They walk inside the loft an hour after leaving the precinct, having made a stop at the grocery store to grab some of the ingredients they need for dinner.

They planned this a week ago with the boys and Lanie. A little get-together to talk, have fun and enjoy their mutual company before they have to say goodbye.

To be honest, she's not sure she'll be able to go through the whole thing without crying, and that would be extremely awkward.

She's not exactly a big fan of public display of emotions, but hell, this is her family, her life she's leaving behind; and although she insists on showing she's made of iron, no one can keep their defenses up the whole time.

Castle places her stuff on top of one of the stacks of boxes that they have been piling around the living room during the last few days. The loft looks different already. Martha hasn't waited too long to start giving the place her personal touch, and most of Rick's books and trinkets are already packed.

She's convinced him to leave some of his things behind. Some pictures, old books, winter clothes he won't need yet, since summer is coming… She doesn't want him to remove all his life from his home. It's not like they won't be coming back from time to time. His family is here. Hers too.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While Castle busies himself chopping onions and other vegetables, she decides to go take a shower and get comfortable.

The bedroom gives her the chills now. Every personal detail, every little thing that made it feel like home, has been removed and put into a cardboard box. Only the large framed pictures of the lion and the elephant remind her of where she is.

She removes her clothes slowly, putting them on the bed. It is barely 3 pm, but she's as tired as if she had been working 24 hours straight. Damn emotional roller coasters.

When she's in her underwear she walks to the dresser to leave her watch and the chain with her mother's ring. She examines the last one before putting it on the crystal plate she has for it here. There's an extra weight to it; a new sparkly piece of metal that will take its rightful place someday in the future.

xxxxxxxxxx

"Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you marry me?"

The words petrify her, and the only thing she can do is look at the ring absolutely stunned. She was so sure that this was going to be the end for them. She was ready to hear him say it was over, to ask him to listen to her. She was ready to beg, even though in her heart she knew he wouldn't change his mind.

But now… Now the tables have turned, and she finds herself having to make another choice. She's so tired of it. Of having to choose between two things that are so very important to her.

She looks up to Castle; finds his dark blue eyes expectant, needing to know if she's going to break his heart once again, and to be honest, she's not sure what she has to say is not going to ruin him. Them.

She puts her hand on top of his, covering the ring with her palm. "Rick, there is only one answer that I want to give to that question. But first… Oh, god… " She sighs, her eyes pleading. "I got the job. I really, really want it, Castle, but I really, really want this too."

She takes the ring from him and studies it under the dim light of the evening sun. It's so beautiful, but again, what was she expecting from him?

"You didn't answer my question." He demands, observing as she plays with the small platinum loop in her hands.

Kate sighs a shaky puff of air that makes Castle's hairs stand on end when it brushes his skin. "You said no matter what, but would you be willing to go through that? Are you sure you want this?"

Castle swallows. His eyes search hers, which have moved down to scan the ground. "Kate, I have never been more sure about anything in my entire life. I want this." He claims, "I want us to have it all. Both of us." He squeezes her hand in his. "I have a family that means everything to me, I have a job I love and I have you. If that position in DC is what you need right now, then go for it. I am with you, Kate, and if that job is important to you, then it is to me too."

Kate smiles at that, but her eyes remain serious. She still doesn't know what he's looking for with his proposal.

"I don't want you to do this for me, Castle. If you really want this, if you really are asking me to marry you, I want it to be because this is what you really want, what will make you happy, not because you think it's the only way to keep me here."

Caste gets up from the ground where he's been kneeling and shakes his head, frustrated. "No, Kate! You don't get it. I'm not trying to stop you. I don't want you to give up on something you so obviously desire. What I'm trying to say here is: if you want me, if you accept me, I am willing to come with you." He pauses, takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "As long as we're together, nothing else matters."

Kate's eyes water instantly, because what he's saying are not just empty words. She can feel it; she can see it reflected in his eyes. He wants more. He wants everything, with her.

Her hand trembles as she opens it to look at the ring again, the harsh surface of the diamond rasping her skin. When she finds his eyes again there is no fear in them anymore. Only hope. And love.

She traps her lip with her teeth and smiles, placing the ring between her thumb and index finger. "We can have all that without this, Rick."

He lowers his head at that, all mirth leaving his eyes, so she tries to make it better. "I'm not saying no. What I'm saying is… not yet. I want you to ask for the right reasons, at the right time. I know you love me, Rick, and I know you want this, but after what's happened, do you think this is the time for us to take such a huge step? Do you really think we're ready?"

Castle opens his mouth to reply, but closes it almost immediately. All trace of stubbornness leaving his gaze the moment he realizes she's right. "I still want you to be my wife."

She chuckles, the wrinkles that form under her eyes making her look younger instead of older, as they should. "I know. I want that too, so much." She sighs. "But we have this road ahead and I don't want to take this shortcut. This is you, Castle. This is us. I want… I need to do it right".

A heartbeat goes by before he leans in and kisses her lips softly, rubbing her cheek with his thumb. Then, he reaches for the long chain she wears around her neck, opens the clasp and puts the ring on it, holding both, hers and her mom's, in his palm for her to see.

"You keep it until the time comes to put it where it belongs."

Kate nods, smiling against his lips. "I love you." She whispers. And she does; so much; for being so patient, understanding, caring and over all, persistent. None of them would be here right now if it weren't for him, and she knows that.

He mumbles his response against her jaw, clutching the silver chain in his hand and nudging her with his nose. The moment is so intimate that it catches her completely off guard, when he whispers "best rejection ever" in her ear.

Kate can't stop the laughter and pulls him closer, kissing him hard to seal the promise she just made.

Someday.

xxxxxxxxxx

The memory of that day still makes her smile. She still can't believe the turn of events. How a conversation she thought would lead to pain and despair ended up being the exact opposite to that.

They decided to tell his family over dinner a couple of days after that.

Alexis was a little shocked at first, but when she realized this was what her dad wanted, what would make him happy, she gave them both a bright smile and offered to help them pack.

Martha was absolutely delighted to have the loft to herself. The moment Castle told her they were leaving, she started talking about wallpapers and decorators. Later that night, she wished them the best of luck and toasted with them for a bright future.

Kate still remembers the woman's words in her ear when she hugged her really hard before heading to bed. "I am so proud of you both."

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

When Kate comes out of the bedroom after a long soothing shower, Castle is completely engrossed in the cooking process. His brow is furrowed and his tongue is sticking out while he fights the chicken into a too small oven tray.

She stops at the office door, leaning against the frame, and studying him from the distance. A smile breaks free. He can be really cute when he's not even trying.

He looks relaxed. Much more at ease than she feels herself, under the circumstances, and she is supposed to be the one with the made up mind.

It makes her feel safe. Knowing that he's happy doing this, that he's excited even, to start this new episode of their lives together; it makes her feel better about it all. Less guilty for accepting a new sacrifice from him so she can follow her 'dreams'.

She allows herself a few minutes more of daydreaming before making her way to the kitchen, her hands already aching to touch him.

Circling his waist with her arms, she nuzzles his neck before dropping a light kiss on his shoulder. "Hey, chef. Need some help with that chicken?"

He chuckles, turning in her embrace and wrapping her in his own arms, his hands sticking out so she doesn't end up covered in chicken grease. "Well, for being dead, this thing is putting up a hell of a fight." He explains, nodding towards the counter, where the bird lays half covered with garlic salt and pepper. "Think we can join forces and wrestle it into the pan?"

"It seems to me that you need a bigger pan, but sure." She replies, letting go of him and stretching her fingers as if she were going to do battle. "You take the legs, I'll press the breasts inside the tray."

Castle's eyebrows jump on his forehead as he tries to hold down the laughter. Kate narrows her eyes and gives him a feral look. "Shut it, writerboy! Now, grab those thighs."

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After putting the chicken in the oven, the rest of the cooking process goes silky smooth. They laugh and bump into each other, moving around the kitchen to pick up whatever ingredient they need while sharing a couple of glasses of wine.

It feels right, wonderful even; the kind of domesticity that they have created in barely a year together. It makes Kate think that they are ready for the next step they are going to take. She may have said no to a wedding – for now – but they are moving in together after all.

"You know, I could get used to this." She says, smirking and trying to hide it behind a curtain of hair. "Working together, side by side."

Castle laughs and brushes the soft strands away, uncovering her face. "We do that everyday, Kate."

She meets his eyes, finally, a soft smile curving her lips. "Not what I was talking about, Writer Boy…"

"I know."

He reaches for her waist then, his hand practically covering the width of her stomach, and turns her around. His eyes are dark, focused on her lips, which she can't help from biting. He licks his own, hunger shining in his eyes, and not precisely for food. As he lowers his head to capture her mouth, Kate can't help but moan, anticipating the moment their lips will touch.

The second their mouths meet everything becomes blurry. Kate finds herself sitting on the counter, her legs bracketing Castle's waist and her arms pulling him closer, always closer.

She's hot. They're both hot, and the clothes only make it worse.

She tugs on his shirt, pulls it out of the hem of his jeans and starts unfastening the buttons clumsily, her fingers fumbling with each little plastic disc.

Castle is bolder and forgoes the clothes, sneaking his hands under her shirt and palming her breasts over her satin bra. She's moaning and writhing against his lower half the moment she feels his hands on her, and the feeling is so overwhelming that she feels she won't last much longer if they keep this up.

Their breathing is coming out in labored breaths and the heat is becoming unbearable. Kate feels like her body is going to spontaneously combust at any second but she can't get enough of Castle's scalding hands against her skin.

Right when he's finally pulling the shirt off of her, the sharp smell of burning sauce draws them out of their improvised one-on-one.

"Oh, shit!" Castle screeches, running to the stove and taking the saucepan out off the fire.

Kate hops down off the counter and squeezes his shoulder lightly. "I'm sure it's not that bad. Just started smelling." She tries to comfort him.

Opening a drawer, she picks up a spoon and tries a bit of the sauce, swirling it in her mouth slowly. "Some pepper and a pinch of oregano and you can save it." She states, offering him a spoonful of sauce for him to try.

"Mmm. Yeah. Thank you."

He leans down and kisses her softly, his hand framing her face in the sweetest of touches. "I think we'll have to save that for later, huh?" He jokes, nodding at the counter and his discarded shirt on the floor.

"Yes." She sighs, a mischievous smile on her face. "But you know what they say: good things are worth waiting for."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first knock at the door comes at 7:06 pm. It's Esposito and Lanie, both sporting big smiles on their faces that give away that something happened in the elevator. Something Castle and Beckett don't need to know.

As soon as they get inside, the writer takes their coats and Kate offers them something to drink.

Both with a beer in their hand, Castle and Esposito move their conversation about video games to the living room, the detective mocking the writer about his lack of knowledge about the new games that are about to come out. Classic.

Lanie leans on the kitchen island, eying Kate, who is now crouching in front of the oven, taking a look at the chicken.

The ME is still worried about her friend. She is happy that she's decided to take the job. It is a huge opportunity for her, but at the same time, even though Castle is leaving with her, she can tell that there is something bothering Kate, she just can't put her finger on it.

"So, are you two all packed?" She asks nonchalantly, placing her glass of wine on the counter.

Kate rises from her spot in front of the stove and purses her lips. "Um, well, almost." She stammers. "Castle is all done, but we still have to go through my apartment. Won't take as long as his place though, I'm taking everything with me, so won't have to spend time deciding what to take and what to leave."

"Hm, I see." Lanie replies.

The detective quirks an eyebrow and nods, sensing something else coming. "What?" She asks already annoyed at her friend.

"Nothing. It's just… This is supposed to be your big moment and your boyfriend there seems more excited than you about it."

"I am excited, Lanie. It's just… I'm nervous about the job. New town, new people… Lots of changes, and you know how much I hate those." Kate offers, playing nervously with her hands.

Lanie studies her for a second grabbing her glass once again and taking a long sip of wine. "Uh huh. Sure, but I know there's something else that you're not telling me, so you better spill, girl. I don't want to have to kick your ass as a good bye."

Kate sighs and makes a sign for her friend to move closer. "Ok… There is something. Come here."

The ME leans farther into the counter, getting face to face with Kate, who takes a look over the woman's shoulder to check if Castle or Esposito are paying any attention to them. "Oh, don't worry about those two. They're to busy talking about Metal Gear or whatever." Lanie jokes, rolling her eyes at the boys. "Now, stop stalling and talk."

Kate takes a deep breath and reaches inside her shirt, taking out the chain, which is now holding two rings instead of one, and showing it to Lanie. She stares at her friend expectantly, waiting until she realizes what she's looking at.

"OH MY GOD!" Lanie squeals. "Is that what I think it is?"

Espo and Castle turn to look at the women, both with an eyebrow raised and looking completely lost.

"Everything ok?" Castle asks, concern marring his voice.

Kate nods and gives the writer a sweet smile to sooth his worry, then turns towards her friend and glares at her. "SHUSH!"

"Sorry…" The ME apologizes. "But, oh my god, Kate!"

"Yeah." She sighs. "It's big… Just, not what you think." She explains, avoiding her friend's eyes and focusing on the pattern of the marble counter.

"Wait a second." Lanie starts, holding the ring in her hand and examining it. "Do you mean this is not an engagement ring? 'Cause, let me tell you, girl, it totally looks like one to me."

Kate snorts and nods softly. "Yes. It is an engagement ring, but there is not an engagement. Yet."

"WHAT?!"

"Lanie! Can you please SHUSH!" Kate scolds her, her eyes wide, checking on the guys again and giving Castle another nervous smile from the distance. "Seriously."

"I am sorry, but you need to explain this to me, honey, 'cause I don't get it." Lanie tells her, her deep brown eyes piercing hers. "He gave you an engagement ring, but there is no engagement? How is that?"

"I wasn't sure he was asking for the right reasons. There were a lot of things going on between us, Lanie. It didn't feel like the right time."

Lanie frowns. "You keep talking in past tense."

"Well, it was two weeks ago."

"You've had that ring for two weeks and you are telling me now?" The ME recriminates her. "I am offended."

"Oh, come on, Lanie!" Kate begs. "It's not like there was much to tell."

Lanie gives her a look, one that says I'm not buying it.. "A proposal seems like a hell of a lot to tell to me"

"He proposed. I said not yet. End of the story." Kate replies annoyed.

"But you wanted to say yes."

"No."

The ME leans on the counter again, getting closer to her friend. "You can lie to yourself all you want, Kate Beckett, but you don't fool me." she says smugly.

Right that moment someone knocks on the door. The Ryans have arrived.

TBC


End file.
